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bystresscookie

Observer Effect

We truly lost ourselves when we started judging how we feel.  Emotions are not good or bad in themselves.  Being in pain is no more right or wrong than is joy.  Those last three pushes that launched my son into this world were the most excruciating moments of my life.  Both physically and emotionally.  They also resulted in the most meaningful thing I have ever accomplished.  Likewise, the little devil in the back of my head has been toying with sending a subtly disturbing gift to a supervisor who took obvious “shameful delight” in mocking my suffering. (Really, this mug I saw would be a brilliant way to turn a comment she made in my earshot once into a great, big kick in her ass.  That would be satisfying.  Certainly wouldn’t serve much purpose though.  I hope to never see her again.  Perhaps, one day, I will write the whole story down.)

Our emotions are what direct us.  It is our acceptance or resistance to that direction that creates the tension, pressure, dissonance, discord, discomfort, etc. that makes an experience “bad”.  It is the “observer effect” of human nature.  Emotional expression, the quantum mechanics of the soul.

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