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bystresscookie

Day too

It is the second day of 2019 and I am already overwhelmed.  LOL!  Like the passing of the secondhand over midnight could have actually wiped clear the ever accumulating debris of the past years.  It never does.

No.  But, I had an inkling that I could do some of my own before this one began.  And, as it seems to be the way of things, that non-plan was preempted by the needs of another.  I even went so far this year not to consciously plan but nudge myself towards the acts that were most greatly needed; hoping that something, at least, would happen if I didn’t force things.  Someday, I will find a way to determine if I subconsciously sabotage my efforts or if the universe just put me on a mind-bending roller-coaster twisting its way through fun houses for this amusement park ride we call life.  Certainly, the former factors in at times.  However, I can only influence so much.

I have this friend.  Ours is an odd connection.  And, I am torn as to why it remains so strong despite the obviously faulty wiring.  Have you ever looked in a mirror and stared past everything?  It can actually be a great way to look (or, hide) inside yourself.  Well, I have always believed that people are mirrors of the soul.  We form our relationships based on what is reflected.  My friend and I are, in some respects, spitting images.  Others, like night and day.  Ultimately travelling, I think, through the same labyrinth of mirrors.  Just never quite seeing the other in the right light or at the right angle.  We get lost when we try to find each other.  And, stuck when we try to find our way ourselves.

Are we so tethered because I can’t let go?  I insist on continuing to follow distorted reflections?  To patch frayed wires?  Is this good or bad?  Or, is it how the universe is manifesting energy through me?  Do I believe these things have purpose because of some fault?  Or, am I truly a conduit of some greater meaning?

As much as I feel, despite my best intentions, that I become a destructive force, I have to believe positive expansion is its source.

Time to put some of that in action.

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